You know those commercials on TV, where the depressed person is living with a scribble cloud over their heads, like some new-age version of Pig-Pen? While I don't quite feel that way, I can relate a bit more now. For me, it's as if tiny little soldiers with spears are preventing my thoughts from going anywhere. I am confused more easily, too. Granted, I have never considered myself sharp (except with comments and humor), but this last week has had my brain in a swamp.
My doctor said it would take some months for my hormone levels to change and for us to dial in my synthetic Thyroid, but I never expected this level of blah. To the point that even doing nothing irritates me. I'm 14 and angsty again. Angry at the drop of a hat, frustrated, depressed. On other days all is well, which is the fucky thing, right? That further confuses me - if I have low hormone then it should stay low, right? What's with the ups-and-downs bullshit?
On March 3rd I go in again and get checked, so hopefully a few days after that I'll start feeling better. The scar is healing nicely though, and I should be able to drive in the next few weeks here. So that's good.
Not a very interesting post, but it's honest, and that's really the point.