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Monday, August 13, 2012

Figuring Out Who You Are

I had originally gotten into this blog deal because I wanted some sort of platform to express my own personal thoughts on myself, which sounds very self-serving ( and I suppose it is).  Not in a "look at me" way - I have radio shows for that - but more of a "why do I think this way" thing.  I want to figure out who I am and why I react the way that I do towards certain things so I can become a better friend, or so that I can say "I'm real funny", which is usually not the case.

This is an uncomfortably open book of a post, but one that I'm kind of ok with writing.  It's odd how sometimes being honest over the internet is easier than opening up to a friend or loved one.  Maybe it's because we aren't used to censoring ourselves when we write.  Forums have erased that filter we have always been taught to have when writing, and that has given way to the impulse post.  The demand for instant information just encourages us to rush through out thoughts, clarity be damned.

Lately, I have been thinking a lot of how I come across to people, and how they view me as a person.  I think I'm pretty easy going, but I do have a certain set of standards when it comes to things like entertainment.  I'm not so easy going when it comes to going to the movies, let's say, because I know that, for the most part, after the movie I'll just be more disappointed and $20 poorer than when I went into the theater.  Does that make me a negative person or a realist?  The majority of the time I'm totally comfortable with this decision to be cautious, but occasionally the look of disappointment on my girlfriends face because she wants to see a film that I won't go to sort of makes me feel like a jerk-off.  Why can't I suck it up and just deal with watching a shitty movie?  I don't know.

Same thing goes for beer.  My thoughts are that if I'm going to pay $6 ($7 with tip) for a pint, I want it to be a good beer, or at least what I think passes for good beer. And if I don't see any beer that's worth that to me, I say that.  Aloud.  In public.  Doses that make me a whiner?  An asshole?  Or just someone who knows the value of a dollar?  I used to think nobody gave a shit about what I said, but a few times recently I have been told I'm negative, and that I hate everything and blah blah blah blah ( I don't know, I stopped listening).  Which just isn't true.   I like lots of shit, I'm just picky about the quality of the shit I like.

What's the divider there?  What is it about my personality that I seemingly cannot express my views without just being labeled as a negative person?  How can I become more positive without sacrificing my ideals and excellent tastes?  I'm working on finding out.


                                                   Blah Blah Blah Dinosaur Jr.


2 comments:

  1. I think the fact is that we live in a world (or country) where any thing in anyway critical is deemed negative. Everyone is so eager to heap on praise and worship for anything that its become negative to truly not enjoy something. Just because someone tries their best, doesnt mean they succeeded. Our favorite breweries dont make flawless beer everytime, our favorite bands dont come out with album after album of perfection. These are facts, but far too few people realize that. You can love something but acknowledge it isnt perfect, or just plain not good. More people need to pick up on that. So, I say no, you are not a negative person, you are just in tune with reality and dont want to compromise your standards. You are one of the few people that understands the value of things and isnt ok with sacrificing when you shouldnt have to.

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  2. Well I am the same way with beer and I don't think it is negative. As for the movie issue I just think you are only factoring in shitty movie - $20= shitty experience . But there is more value there that you aren't counting. Think about your girlfriend being happy now and you don't have to feel like a jerk-off. Those should factor into your decision. So it would look more like this : potentially shitty movie -$20 + girlfriend happy + you don't feel like a jerk =

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